Be still

My life has been hectic these past few weeks. My husband has been bed ridden, my one and only bathroom has been gutted (no shower, then no toilet, and no sink the whole time) and there are 5 adults living in a 2 bedroom condo.

I have been overwhelmed trying to take care of everything, keep the house in some level of livability, have food to eat, help my hubby, and work full time. I have tried over and over to remind myself that there are many people who live in a similar amount of chaos at all times (take my sister raising 5 children and her hubby working full time) I guess they build up an immunity towards the hectic-ness. I think that I generally do pretty well living in disorder- You can see what I have been living in for the last 6 months by looking at my design blog.http://becomingdesign.blogspot.com/

I guess I rely on the physical and emotional strength of my husband quite a bit, having him out of commission throws off my equilibrium. I am one half trying to make a whole.

Anyway all that to say that I have been pent up, stressed out, and scowling for a few days now. Yesterday was one of those days where everything brought tears to my eyes. But then I was reminded of where I find my strength. It isn’t by trying to juggle it all and keep moving non-stop, put your head down and plow through…it is in the stillness. It is taking the time, even just a couple minutes, to sit and center your thoughts. It is resting in peace knowing that we can’t see everything, we may not understand why, but God does, and He is bigger and better than everything we can imagine.

This process almost always requires a breaking. I was trying to do the right thing the whole time, trust God, be at peace, live in the moment, but I wasn’t succeeding. Hence the breaking, you get so pent up or worn out that you don’t have a choice but to collapse and take a breath and realize you are doing it all wrong.

In general I don’t like routine but there are some things that are important to me like having my Spark (energy drink) every morning. That is a crucial routine. There are a few others that I didn’t realize were so important though: A relaxing shower where I can sing or pray and readjust my thoughts, listening to music in the AM, and speaking out-loud good things about my life. These are the things that I have been lacking that help me keep my balance, retain my focus and remember how good life really is. These are the things that I am going to try not to forget. I am going to take the time to be still and Know that He is God.